My Dearest Olivia,
Here are some truths about these letters that you may not realize. One, is that most of these messages begin in a broken place. A place where I have finally come, when I can no longer carry the burdens of my life or deny myself the time for tears. The second truth is that when I write to you, it is often wisdom that comes from deep within, after many failed attempts of looking to others for hope. But how can others give you hope if they do not understand the desperation of your situation?
I asked myself a question this morning that gives one of the hardest answers that you might face in your life time. Who can understand being a black woman, accept for another black woman? Who knows our struggles or cares to talk about them? Who believes them when we express ourselves? Who knows the insults or the loneliness? Who knows the amount of courage and perseverance that it takes to keep your head up. Who knows the amount of grace that is needed… aside from another black woman. Let me be frank and tell you the ways of the world, and how you must stand if you mean to survive it.
Your education on beauty and self-worth will be made of half-truths, meaning that the color of your skin, the natural kink of your hair, the shape of your body or even the ways of your heart may go unrecognized or despised for many seasons. And it will be up to you to develop eyes to see your own beauty. Not just in yourself but in your sisters that are like you.
Your education on life will be unlike your peers, meaning you may have to learn how to defend yourself early. You may have to be strong and independent in times that are unfair. You may have to live in an environment that is against you in every way. But here me when I say, that you must be like a flower growing in a dark place. Take in what ever light is around you and let people be inspired, wondering how you ever bloomed in such conditions.
Your education on identity will be unsettling, when you find that you never quite fit in anywhere. Not even among those women that are like you, as our community has not yet embraced the meaning of unity or loyalty. And in new environments you may learn to adapt but the issues and ideals of the heart can never be fully perceived by those who have not walked in your shoes. In those instances, you must accept that you are a unique individual in which God has chosen to carry and be a steward of many burdens. It is honorable that you have been thought to have that much strength and according to this, you should never doubt that your life holds much significance!
Your education on love will be horrendous if you are not careful. You will see and hear things that constantly wound your soul, this includes your male counter-part, as he struggles to find his place as well. The world will make you feel like you are undeserving. The responsibility of love is explained best in the words of the savior. If your father and I should fail you, run to him to set the record straight. Never-ever attempt to love without understanding. Let your friends and peers do as they will, but you, Olivia, preserve yourself and seek understanding!
I write all this not to discourage you but to make you a promise, that in light of all these things that I will be the first to fall in love with your brown skin. I will begin a bold ripple in your life that I hope flows through out your days. I have developed the eyes to recognize your beauty and I deeply care about your struggles on this earth. I know them well and have not been so discouraged that I did not still desire to find beauty for these ashes given to me.
Let me tell you some things about brown skin that I have discovered. 1) You can teach others to see your beauty once you have defined it for yourself. 2) Dark skin makes a bright smile brighter. 3)You are the color of nature that represents warmth, growth, shelter and deep roots. 4) All the colors of flowers look good on you! 5)Your hair is interchangeable. It can be styled or used as protection from the sun. It can represent power or spirituality. It can go into any environment and be accepted. Your hair can be like art or a crown. But without the natural kink, you would have none of this! 6) Your body is the prototype for love and nurture. 7) Your curves are like great mountains and valleys, a part of nature that never ceases to amaze! 8) Your heart has the capacity to endure great burdens and love deeply because of your experience with hardship and rejection. So how much more can you be used to love those who are hurting. 9) God feels a black woman’s prayer. 10) God sends many surrogates. He understands and will bring to your life those things you are missing. You may feel alone, but He will never let you fend for yourself.
One thing is for sure, you can never claim that your mother was never in your shoes!! I love you with all my heart. And am praying for you, even before I have met you.
With faith and Love,
Tanisha Nichole Wright
